


Always

by attraversiamo19



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Bittersweet, Ereri Writing Prompts, Fluff, I just want them to grow old together y'all, M/M, Memory Loss, Older Eren Yeager, Older Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), WARNING: LOTS OF FEELINGS, but i promise it's not all sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2019-04-07 15:02:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14083536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/attraversiamo19/pseuds/attraversiamo19
Summary: Despite the trials of old age, Eren will be always be there for Levi.  No matter what.





	Always

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [Ereri-Writing-Prompts'](https://ereri-writing-prompts.tumblr.com/post/171409438332/prompt-3-forgetfulness) forgetfulness prompt. 
> 
> Thanks so much to [thisgirlsays22](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisgirlsays22/pseuds/thisgirlsays22) for reading through it and offering invaluable feedback. <3

Eren knows that Levi doesn’t care what people think of him, not really. 

He’s unapologetically himself and people who can’t tolerate that - or appreciate it, even - aren’t worth his time. But Levi does take pride in his appearance. Never understood teenagers who went into public without even pulling a brush through their hair, or people in the grocery store wearing their pajamas. It’s not vanity by any means, but it’s important to him that he looks put together.

Even after all these years, Levi still irons his pants. 

Eren thinks it’s silly and often chastises him gently for it whenever he walks into the bedroom to find Levi setting up the ironing board. 

“We’re old now. We get to walk around in wrinkled pants if we want to. It’s a privilege,” he would say with mock exasperation. And Levi would simply roll his eyes and nod and carry on with what he was doing. 

They know each other far too well by now for Levi to let Eren’s words bother him. It has been almost 40 years, after all.

 

 

Eren drags himself up out of the recliner in the living room where he’s reading and shuffles toward the bathroom. It’s not a joke when they say you’ve gotta pee more often as an old guy. An older guy. Whatever.

Partway down the hallway though, he hesitates due to the smell of something burning. Concerned, he changes direction immediately and heads back to check the kitchen. They had toast that morning for breakfast, perhaps the toaster oven was left on and was burning up some crumbs.

The kitchen looks and smells normal. Eren frowns. “Levi? Do you smell something burning?” He calls down the hallway to their bedroom. 

The sudden shrill beeping of the smoke detector from their bedroom confirms what Eren’s nose already knows.

“Shit.” Levi’s curse is quiet but still audible enough for Eren to hear the frustration in his voice. Alarmed, he moves quickly despite the ache in his muscles to the bedroom. Levi stands a few feet from the ironing board, silver hair drooping into his eyes and a horrified expression on his face. 

Small flames lick up around the iron, which is laying down on a pair of what Eren assumes was, until about two minutes ago, slacks. 

The fire is easy enough to put out, once Eren has snapped Levi into action and grabbed several towels from their bathroom to smother it. 

When the flames are extinguished, Eren snags the back-scratcher next to their bed and taps the button on the smoke detector to silence it. 

He turns to Levi. “What happened?” Eren asks, bewildered. 

Levi sits on the edge of their bed, looking down at his hands wringing nervously in his lap. His brow is furrowed and he won’t meet Eren’s eyes. 

“Nothing.” Levi glances up quickly at Eren. “It was nothing. I left the room for a minute to check something on the computer. It’s not a big deal.” Levi looks over to the ironing board to examine the damage and mutters, “Shit. This all needs to be replaced.” 

Eren sits down beside him on the bed and places his left hand gently over Levi’s, still wringing in his lap. Levi’s hands stop moving. 

“Levi,” Eren says quietly. “Look at me.”

Levi sighs deeply, then turns his face toward Eren. 

Eren reaches up and pushes a bit of Levi’s hair out of his eyes. When Eren had first met him all those years ago, he had been struck by Levi’s eyes. A deep steel gray with a hint of blue that reminded Eren of the ocean on a stormy day. 

Aside from some extra wrinkles around the edges, they’ve stayed exactly the same. 

Eren is intimately acquainted with the intense range of emotion that Levi’s eyes communicate. Emotions that the casual observer would miss entirely. And right now… 

Right now they’re haunted. Filled with embarrassment, with frustration. 

With fear. 

Eren’s heart hurts. Levi is the bravest person he’s ever met. His eyes should never be filled with fear like this. “Talk to me, sweetheart,” he says quietly. 

Levi looks away from him, down at the floor, and pulls his hands from Eren’s. He begins to fidget with some piling on his bathrobe. 

“This isn’t the first time,” he says, almost inaudible. 

Eren stays silent, giving him the time to formulate the words. 

“Last week I left water boiling on the stove. Was going to make noodles. Forgot about it. Completely scorched the pan when the water all boiled off.”

“When did this happen?” And how had he missed it?

“You were visiting Mikasa. I took care of it all before you got home,” Levi answers.

Eren just nods at this. They sit silently, Levi continuing to pick at his bathrobe and Eren utterly still, staring at a stain on the carpet that Levi has never been able to banish despite countless tries over the years. 

How long has this been going on? 

There had been little things, if Eren’s honest with himself.

Things like leaving the cap off the tube of toothpaste. Or forgetting to pick up coffee beans on a grocery run. Or the television being left on overnight when they’d talked repeatedly about saving money on the electricity bill.

Levi had always been so detail-oriented. So vigilant.

But just last week he had left the stove on when they left the house. And just a few nights ago the front door was left open overnight, when Levi had told Eren to go to sleep, he took care of it, don’t worry about it.

It’s true they’re both getting older, and Levi is ten years his senior. Technically no one is immune to aging and the forgetfulness that comes with it. It could happen to anyone. 

But this isn’t just anyone. 

This is Levi. 

His Levi. 

Eren finally breaks the silence, needs to reassure himself, reassure them both. “Maybe you’re just tired. You have been sleeping a lot more lately--”

“I’m not stupid Eren. I’ve never been this forgetful.”

“I know,” Eren says. 

And Levi’s right. It’s always been Levi reminding Eren to pick up his clothes off the bathroom floor. Levi remembering to pick up a gift for Mikasa and Jean’s anniversary. Levi who would discreetly grab Eren’s wallet from the nightstand when they were on their way out the door, shoving it in his pocket and pulling it out with an amused smile the moment Eren realized he had forgotten it. 

“What can I do?” Eren asks. 

Levi scoffs at this. “Nothing. I just need to pay more attention to what I’m doing.”

Eren shakes his head, “There has to be some way I can help though…” 

“You could just stick me in an old folk’s home and forget about me.”

“That’s never happening. Asshole.” Eren nudges Levi’s shoulder with his own, and Levi chuckles softly. 

A few more moments of silence, then, “I don’t want you to have to care for me, Eren.”

Eren looks at him questiongly. 

“I can’t…” Levi trails off. Sighs deeply. Then, steadily, “I can’t be a burden to you. I won’t.”

Eren actually smiles at this and laughs a little. Levi looks at him like he’s gone crazy. “What the hell is funny about this?”

“Levi, I have always cared for you. And I always will,” Eren says. 

“You know that’s not what I mean.”

“Well it’s what I mean. I don’t care if you’re wandering around naked with your pants on your head. I’d never abandon you. And you’ll never be a burden.”

Levi stares at him. 

Eren leans forward and plants a chaste kiss on Levi’s lips. “I love you.” 

 

 

Levi refuses to see a doctor. Eren doesn’t push it, but he does do a lot of research about memory loss online. He refuses to google words like “dementia” and “Alzheimer’s” because that’s just ridiculous. Levi isn’t losing himself, and Eren sure as hell isn’t losing Levi. 

The websites he finds recommend things that do help. Eren insists on being around when Levi is cooking, climbing up on things - still ironing, for god’s sake - anything potentially dangerous if he were to lose his train of thought. 

Levi hates it, Eren knows he does, but Levi puts up with it; he’s learned over the years to accept help from someone he trusts. 

They make a lot of lists now too: Grocery lists, morning routine lists, evening routine lists. Eren leaves sticky notes throughout the house, reminding Levi to turn off the stove, lock the front door. 

Eren buys a white board for the wall in the kitchen so he can record his plans. That way Levi can always reference them if he gets confused.

They write notes to each other on the bathroom mirror with dry-erase markers, Levi in blue and Eren in green. “Don’t forget to move the clothes from the washer to the dryer!” “I won’t, you idiot.” “I love you!” “I love you too.”

Simple things. Because Levi’s not so far gone that he’s forgotten names or faces. 

 

 

They spend time together each evening playing card games or chess, because the doctors all say that those kinds of activities are good for “flexing your brain muscles.” Levi, however, says that “flexing your brain muscles” is the most asinine thing he’s ever heard. So Eren uses the phrase as often as he can. Just to make Levi roll his eyes and curse under his breath. 

Mikasa and Jean come over every Friday night and the four of them make dinner and watch a movie together. Sometimes Eren catches Levi staring off into the distance during the film, so he’ll grab his hand to place a kiss on the back of Levi’s palm and give him a smile. Trying to pull him back into the present. 

Sometimes Levi smiles back at him. Sometimes he doesn’t. 

 

 

“I forgot who Mikasa was tonight,” Levi says to Eren one Friday after Jean and Mikasa have gone home for the evening. They’re sitting side by side on the couch, Levi working on a sudoku puzzle and Eren reading a book. 

Eren’s stomach clenches. He marks his page and sets his book down in his lap. Forces his tone to be neutral. “Mikasa is my sister.” 

“I know that now,” Levi glances up at him from his puzzle with annoyance, then flicks his eyes back down. “But for a few minutes... I just stared at her and wondered who she was and why she was here in our house.”

He keeps his eyes down on his puzzle, and Eren doesn’t respond right away. His mouth has gone dry. 

Levi’s never been good at being vulnerable. At opening himself up, even to Eren. He’s gotten better over the years, but god, it must have taken a lot of courage for Levi to share this with him. Or, maybe courage is the wrong word. 

Levi looks back up at him, searching Eren’s face. “I just thought you should know,” he says quietly with a shrug.

Eren doesn’t really know what to say to that. Not out loud, at least. 

He meets Levi’s eyes again, and Levi gives him a small sad smile. Then he closes his puzzle book and silently scooches over on the couch until he’s pressed up against Eren and resting his head on Eren’s shoulder.

Eren leans down to kiss the shorter man lightly on the crown of his head and breathes in the scent of him. They’re going to be okay.

 

 

It’s not all sad smiles and nervous stomachs though. 

“Eren!” Levi hollers from down the hall. 

“Yeah?” Eren shouts back, hoisting himself painfully out of his chair and heading toward the sound of Levi’s voice. “Everything okay?”

“Just come back here please,” Levi responds, panic in his voice. 

Eren’s expecting another fire, or worse. But as far as Eren knows, Levi was only doing laundry.

Well, he wasn’t wrong. 

Levi is indeed standing in the laundry room. The washing machine is spewing out copious amounts of soap bubbles. They’ve pooled around Levi’s ankles, and they’re quickly growing into a mountain that is blocking Levi off from the doorway. 

“I must’ve added soap instead of detergent…” Levi trails off, almost in a daze, before finally meeting Eren’s eyes with a horrified expression. 

Eren glances down at the expanding onslaught of bubbles, then back at Levi. And he can’t help it. He tries, tries so hard to muffle the laughter that is beginning to spill out from behind the hand clamped over his mouth. But it’s no use. 

Levi smiles then, because he knows Eren isn’t laughing at him. The sheer ludicrousness of the situation hits him, and now Levi is suppressing laughter, his eyes crinkling with mirth. 

Finally pulling his hand away from his face, Eren allows the laughter to come out full force, and he begins to walk toward Levi, directly through the path of the creeping bubbles.

“Eren,” Levi breathes, laughter breaking apart his sentence, “You’ll make even more of a mess.”

Eren reaches down to pick up a handful of bubbles and unceremoniously deposits them right on top of Levi’s head before leaning down to plant an obnoxiously loud kiss on his cheek. 

Levi bats him away and tries his best to remove the suds from his head. “We should probably turn the fucking machine off or it’s just going to get worse.” 

“Let it. This is hilarious,” Eren is still laughing, and Levi rolls his eyes when Eren wraps his arms around his waist with a deep sigh. 

“Seriously, turn the thing off. Are you gonna clean this up?” Levi huffs, but he’s smiling, and he holds on to Eren tightly. 

They stand this way for a few minutes, just the two of them surrounded by soap bubbles. And Eren thinks that, yeah, sometimes things are tough. Sometimes Levi gets frustrated when he can’t remember. Sometimes he gets cross with Eren for repeatedly reminding him of things. 

But moments like this makes everything else worth it.

 

 

The past six months have been difficult for them both. Levi recognizes faces less often, and he’s been withdrawn and spending a lot more time alone. Last week he had asked Eren to cancel their weekly dinner with Mikasa and Jean because he didn’t want anybody else to see him like this. Didn’t want anyone feeling sorry for him.

Eren had denied the request, saying that spending time with Jean and Mikasa was good for them both. Levi huffed and complained, but had eventually given in. It had actually ended up being a really good night - Levi had been in a great mood and he hadn’t had any issues with forgetting or zoning out. 

Their anniversary is coming up next week. Forty-two years. While Levi’s never placed much weight on celebrating birthdays or anniversaries - “It’s just one year closer to dying,” he’s always said - Eren’s a romantic at heart who enjoys celebrating those kinds of milestones. Levi usually relents and plans something. 

Eren doesn’t expect anything from Levi this year for their anniversary. 

Nowadays, Levi struggles more frequently with basic things like remembering what day it is, or forgetting which drawer the spatulas are in. Sometimes he can’t remember what they did yesterday, or the plans they have for later that night. 

Eren has started keeping a journal to record what they’ve done each day and any new important information in their lives. There’s a calendar in there as well where he marks important dates, doctor appointments, things like that. He leaves it on the living room table so Levi can reference it when he’s ‘having a blank’, as they’ve come to call his episodes of forgetting. 

Eren leaves the date of their anniversary unmarked. 

Levi is under enough stress right now as it is. He doesn’t need the added pressure of trying to plan something for their anniversary. And Eren’s okay with that. He really is.

He loves Levi. And he knows Levi loves him. They don’t need to celebrate their anniversary for that to be true.

 

 

Eren sits in his chair by the fireplace with a book, like he does most of the time when he’s home alone now. Except this afternoon he’s not reading. He’s deep in thought, staring blankly at the page in front of him.

The house is quiet, nothing but the ticking of the grandfather clock on the mantle. Mikasa and Jean had come to pick up Levi early that morning so they could go visit Hanji, per Levi’s request. They usually all went together, but Eren had said he hadn’t felt well and had stayed home. He’d needed some time to himself. 

He sighs and pulls off his reading glasses, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

Today is their anniversary, and Eren hasn’t planned anything to celebrate. 

He wants to celebrate, of course he does. But Levi’s already chastising himself for his more frequent blanks and getting increasingly frustrated every time they happen. It’s infuriating for him because he knows it’s happening and he’s powerless to stop it. 

Eren would never do anything that could make Levi feel guilty. Like planning something for their anniversary, only to have Levi realize he had forgotten it. 

He’d tried not to get his hopes up. No need for that. But despite his efforts, the sliver of hope had been there the past few days. The hope that Levi would remember. That he would say something, anything, to acknowledge their day, even just in passing. 

But he hadn’t. Levi had kissed him goodbye this morning as if it was any other day. Which, Eren supposes, to him it probably is.

He hadn’t expected anything, but he’d be lying if he said it doesn’t hurt. The past two years have been hard on Levi, but it’s different for Eren. He’s sitting on the sidelines watching the man he loves slowly slip away from him. Watching Levi beat himself up every day over something he can’t control. 

They’re both pretty powerless here, in reality.

Eren shakes the thoughts away and slips his glasses back on so he can attempt to focus on something else other than his thoughts. His book. Right.

 

He’s just gotten back into his book when his concentration is broken by the creak of the back door. Levi’s home, and Eren smiles. At least they have the rest of the day together, whether or not they’re celebrating.

“How was it?” Eren calls into the kitchen, closing his book and collapsing the recliner before standing up and stretching a bit. 

No response. 

Eren walks toward the kitchen. “Levi?” 

As he rounds the doorway, Levi turns around to face him from where he had been fiddling with something on the counter. 

“Everything okay?” Eren asks, eyebrows raised. “How was Hanji?”

“We didn’t go see Hanji.” 

Eren’s brow furrows in confusion. “Then where…”

Levi stares at him, eyes searching. Then he sighs. “Did you really forget our anniversary? I’m supposed to be the one with memory loss here, not you.”

Eren doesn’t quite know how to respond to that. “Uh. How did you..?”

“You’re not the only one who keeps a calendar, you idiot.” Levi’s lips quirk up in a smug grin before he turns around to fetch something from the counter behind him. 

It’s a small bunch of petite blue flowers tied up in a green ribbon. The same green as Eren’s eyes. Levi thrusts them toward Eren and looks down at the ground. Still so awkward after all these years. Eren loves him all the more for it.

“They’re forget-me-nots.” Levi says. “Seemed… appropriate.”

Eren’s not going to cry. He’s not. But his lip does quiver for a moment before he breaks into a huge grin and closes the space between them. He wraps his arms around the shorter man and envelopes him in a massive bear hug, lifting him up off the ground before Levi can attempt to stop him. 

“Eren...” Levi huffs in his ear, a warning in his voice.

Eren laughs heartily and sets him back down. Pulling back from the hug, Eren asks, “So Jean and Mikasa were in on it?”

“I asked them to give me a ride earlier this week, yeah,” Levi confirms. He’s still holding the flowers and he pushes them to Eren’s chest. “Put these in some water, eh?”

Eren takes the flowers but doesn’t move. Levi looks at him now, meeting his eyes, grey on green. Levi’s eyes are glassy, like he’s holding back tears. He takes a deep breath and, a little shakily, says, “Happy Anniversary Eren.”

“I love you, Levi.”

“I love you too,” Levi murmurs. 

Eren is certain that his eyes are just as glassy as Levi’s, and there might be a tear slipping down his right cheek, but Levi won’t care. He leans down to touch his forehead to Levi’s and closes his eyes, just appreciating the moment. 

When he opens them again, Levi is looking at him. “Thanks for sticking around.”

Eren’s heart clenches and explodes simultaneously. 

“Always.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading - as this is my first fic I would appreciate feedback!
> 
> You can also find me on [tumblr](https://attraversiamo19.tumblr.com).
> 
> <3


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